Lessons in life courtesy of Dad's Army

It' a long time since I enjoyed a good chuckle. The kind which have you aching in pain with laughter. It's also a considerable time since I last saw an episode of Dad's Army, or even thought about it. ( For the younger Bears among us Dad's Army was popular British sitcom based around the goings on at a Home Guard platoon) However events this week, courtesy of some of our most prolific and outspoken Rangers haters have ended both periods of abstinence.

And there is certainly an element of “old reliable” about chuckle No.1 as it features BBC Scotland and Stuart Cosgrove. Fresh from his mealy mouthed apology for labelling Rangers cheats over the use of EBT's he was back to his old self again, on Sportsound Extra, suggesting that Charles Green was using inflammatory language for financial gain ie to sell season tickets. Oh how I laughed.

The man who is no stranger to the sectarian term “hun” and who proudly relates a story on a train where he describes Rangers supporters as “Orange Wankers” lecturing anyone on “inflammatory language” is an absolute hoot. Seems Charles Green having the temerity to defend Rangers has raised the ire of Mr Cosgrove.

Well have I got news for you Mr Cosgrove...get used to it. Not only does this club not do walking away, we no longer do dignified silence either.

To quote Corporal Jones....”They don't like it up them do they ?”

Chuckle...or rather sides splitting No. 2 came courtesy of Leggo and his revelation that Phil many surnames had complained to the PCC over the Sun suggesting “he was tarred by the sectarian brush”, with the PCC finding in favour of the newspaper. Perhaps there is some truth in the latest murmurings from republican supporters that Phil has something of an ego problem. Has no-one ever been kind enough to give Phil the cautionary advice that when you are in a hole don’t keep digging ?

As Captain Mainwaring would say....”Stupid boy”

Those of us old enough to remember Dad's Army will remember the title credits at the end were always preceded by the caption “You have been watching”.....

And this provides the biggest laugh of all courtesy of Broadcasters Audience Research Board (BARB) who publish British Television Viewing Figures.

SPL

Celtic v Aberdeen 91,000
Dundee Utd v Hibs 16,000
Hibs v Hearts 25,000
Ross County v Celtic 70,000
Dundee Utd v Dundee 75,000
ICT v Celtic 67,000
St Johnstone v Celtic 85,000
Aberdeen v Motherwell 41,000
Aberdeen v Hibs 44,000
Celtic v Hearts 183,000
Inverness v Ross County 38,000
St Mirren v Celtic 103,000
Hearts v Motherwell 61,000
Motherwell v Hibs 63,000
Dundee Utd v Celtic 87,000
Inverness v Hearts 48,000
Hibs v Dundee Utd 51,000
Inverness v Motherwell 51,000
Aberdeen v Celtic 105,000
Motherwell v Hearts 36,000
Hibs v Hearts 124,000
Hearts v Celtic 129,000
Dundee v Dundee Utd 89,000
Kilmarnock v Celtic 106,000
arbroath v Celtic 255,000
kilmarnock v Hibs 59,000
Hearts v Dundee Utd 61,000
Dundee Utd v Celtic 96,000

Total viewers 2,259,000
Average 80,679 per game.

Rangers

Peterhead v Rangers 166,000
Berwick v Rangers 96,000
Rangers v Elgin 85,000
Clyde v Rangers 127,000
Rangers v Elgin 291,000
Montrose v Rangers 79,000
Queens Park v Rangers 174,000

Total viewers 1,018,000
Average per game 145,428

Who else but Private Fraser could finish off this piece...? Was he speaking about the SPL when he gave us his catchphrase ?

“We're doomed”